Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from 2018

Ten Things I Learned in 2018.

Oh 2018, you have been a most welcome change from 2017 (read more about that brutal year here ). We did well, 2018, and I am proud of us. Here are some thoughts and lessons from 2018. 1. When you stop saying mean things to yourself, you start to believe it. Stop saying you're fat. Stop saying you've always done that annoying thing. Stop saying you're not good at it. Stop saying you're unlovable. STOP STOP STOP. I mean it. Stop. Trust me, you will feel the weight of the world slowly lift off of your shoulders. When you get in the habit of cutting yourself off from all of those awful criticisms, you acknowledge the good in you and there is a lot to be celebrated. 2. You can change your life in the time between laying your head on the pillow and falling asleep. Sounds very Tony Robbins, doesn't it? I am not about to sell you vitamins or a self-help book. I promise. At the beginning of 2018 I started saying these simple words as I fell asleep..."Good thing

Life is Not Perfect. Please Tell Your Story.

As I grow up, I can see a desperation amongst my peers for sincerity and authenticity. Thanks to maturity we grow our circles in quality and are far more selective in quantity. There are a million different quotes about this, and Pinterest is bleeding with inspiration about the quality of our friendships. I am at a point in my life where, if you can't be real with me, I'm out. Is that harsh? Maybe. Its only harsh when you say it out loud because the majority of us, in my opinion, are operating at that frequency whether we speak it or not. But then there are those who are not operating at that frequency. I promise not to tell who just popped into your heads. [wink] You know some, I know some, and just open any social media app if you're wondering. The Perfects were always a family out there but now social media has given them a platform to slather their inflated happiness all over us. I remember a story from my high school days where Parent Perfect was expounding on the d

Guest Writer: Terri and the Fiery Angel

I want to share this message from my friend, Terri. She is a true warrior. She lost her husband at a very young age, with a young son in tow. Her husband was loved and adored as a teacher and as a human. She carried on. She fought hard. I painted the fiery angel with the intention of keeping her. She was me and she represented the new life I have fought for. But when Terri contacted me, I knew that this angel was also Terri and she belonged to her too. See below for Terri's words. Thank you for sharing a little of your story, Terri! She is beautiful, she was made for me. When I originally saw her on Jessie’s Facebook page, I immediately thought...wow, she completely resonates with me. Then, as quickly as my first thought came to me, my next thought was “mom loves angels, I will purchase this beautiful painting for her. The day went on and I had messaged Jessie about her. I had screen shotted her and various times throughout the day, I would peek at her. I was completely drawn

Live a Yes. Please. Live a Yes.

On December 19, 2012, a pastor said, "This little girl LIVED A YES." He was talking about Lily Anderson, the daughter of my friend Jennifer, who did her absolute best to kick cancer's tail until the very end...she was 11. I never knew Lily, but to know her mom is to know Lily. To live in Cumming, GA is to know Lily. To have your children attend Vickery Creek schools is to know Lily. That is as close as I will ever get, but I will take it. On the back of my sweet minivan is a big ol' sticker that says, "LIVE A YES." I like the idea of it and I really love Lily's mama so I can absolutely get on board. All fine and good until you sit and wonder if you are really living a yes. I asked Jennifer what it means to her and her answer was this, "Means different things to different people. Some people deep meaning, some not so deep. Like putting away your shopping cart at Publix is living a yes but so is devoting your life to Jesus. Its a wide range. I will

Ten Things

A quick reflection for today... 1. When you make yourself vulnerable, people feel safe with you. 2. Life is hard, but you are stronger than you can ever imagine. 3. When you walk through the light at the end of the tunnel, it is worth every minute of pain. 4. Own your mistakes with every ounce of bravery you can muster up. 5. The happier you are alone, the more open you are to loving someone else. 6. The frequency you send out into the world, is the frequency you attract back in. 7. Give compliments. Say them right to that person's face. They mean more than you will ever know. 8. Be kind to yourself. Don't talk badly about You. If you say nice things to You, you just might start to believe it. 9. Find "your thing" and do it with foolish abandon. Whatever it is, make it happen. 10. The greatest thing anyone can ever tell you is, YOU LOOK SO HAPPY . It is the true reflection of what you feel on the inside, beaming out of you for others to see. Hold that compl

You are the doors you open.

This blog post is inspired by Cheryl Strayed's book, Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar . If you haven't read it, please do. It is worth every minute of precious time. One of my dearest friends recently wrote me an email. Her email matched most of our conversations that I will describe as "meaty." We talk about things that matter and then we go beyond matter and hit the how and why with a vengeance. She challenges me to think far beyond what I think I know and understand so I always feel a sense of honor when she asks me for my thoughts. In an effort to respect our friendship and her thoughts and feelings, I am going to answer her email here in a general way that might apply to others as well. I like to write about things that I gather from lots of people during lots of good conversations and I think this is another one of those. Here goes... Friend: I know who I am - or at least who I want to be and think I am - but the life I am livi

You MUST be able to answer this simple question.

About three years ago I went to a new doctor. We went over all of the usuals and then he asked me something that was incredibly personal and made me squirm and sweat. He said, “Outside of taking care of your kids, what do you like to do?” In that one question, there was an implosion of my mind, body, and soul and I sat there absolutely silent. I think I squeaked out an “ummm” and then an “oh god…I don’t know.” Maybe I was thinking too hard. Maybe I was caught off guard. Or maybe, I really didn’t know. There were so many ingredients to his question. “Outside of taking care of your kids…” Based on my age and a million conversations with other parents my age, he knew that keeping my children alive required 97.4% of my time. He acknowledged it and that was nice. I think I was busy feeling all warm and fuzzy that he knew that about me when he hit me with the zinger. “What do you like to DO?” First of all, what do I like? Hmmm…I like cheese and leggings with the high rise suck-me-in, m

To Hold Space.

It was a couple years ago that I first saw that little saying that registered so deeply with so many people. It went something like, “Be kind always. Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about.” I remember reading that and thinking, holy shit, YES. I probably shared it on Facebook like everyone who saw it and felt that deep down agreement with such simple words. It is simple and brilliant and universal. We all know that feeling of wanting to say to someone, “DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW?!?!” Any time in my life I have experienced any sort of tragedy, there is that eerie feeling when you look around and everyone seems to be going on about life as if everything is ok and you just want to stop and scream at the top of your lungs, EVERYTHING IS NOT OK!! It is the loneliest island, isn’t it? But this simple little concept - the one where we are all fighting battles - reminds us that we are sharing this giant island, fighting next to each other, doing our

Small Gifts.

I hate to keep bringing it up, but the last year of my life has been less than desirable. Devastating. Soul-crushing. Tear infused and physically painful. Confusing. Exhausting. Debilitating. But I learned that, unless you are literally dying, your are not actually going to die. Less than desirable, devastating, soul-crushing, tear infused and physically painful, confusing, exhausting, and debilitating will not actually kill you. At times you wish they would, but they don't. That means you only have the option to survive...and God, survival really sucks sometimes. It is ugly and crude and unshowered and baggy-eyed. It is misspoken words and polite, self-preserving lies. It is smiling with a broken heart. And even when you wish Survival would suck the last shallow breath from you, you will find gifts. SMALL GIFTS. At the very lowest point of the last year, I decided to pay attention to the things that were going on around me. There were ten bazillion bad things happening that w

Dear 2017, Dearer 2018.

Dear 2017, You were a real asshole and I'm glad you're dead. You chewed me up and spit me out, but incredibly, I came out on top. You tried to break me but I stood up to you. I know you saw the days I cried harder than I have ever cried in my life. You were there for the gossip, rumors, and whispers. You were there when I didn't sleep for weeks. I felt you kick me when I was down...over and over again. But its ok because I know you. You're sneaky and arrogant and insecure and dishonest and two-faced. I recognize you, 2017. What you don't know is that I am a fucking warrior. Not only did I walk out of the fire, but I am also carrying buckets of water for my friends who are enduring the brutal realities of divorce. They are also warriors. Yes, I am glad you're gone, 2017, but I must also thank you. For every time I felt hatred and anger and disgust, I am smart enough to know where to turn when its time to fight back. Maybe you missed the day that my incredib