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Life is Not Perfect. Please Tell Your Story.


As I grow up, I can see a desperation amongst my peers for sincerity and authenticity. Thanks to maturity we grow our circles in quality and are far more selective in quantity. There are a million different quotes about this, and Pinterest is bleeding with inspiration about the quality of our friendships. I am at a point in my life where, if you can't be real with me, I'm out. Is that harsh? Maybe. Its only harsh when you say it out loud because the majority of us, in my opinion, are operating at that frequency whether we speak it or not.

But then there are those who are not operating at that frequency. I promise not to tell who just popped into your heads. [wink] You know some, I know some, and just open any social media app if you're wondering. The Perfects were always a family out there but now social media has given them a platform to slather their inflated happiness all over us. I remember a story from my high school days where Parent Perfect was expounding on the dangers of underage drinking and how proud she was of her child who WOULD NEVER do such a thing. As she talked, the other parents knew that Parent Perfect's perfect child was doing just that, and in a most regular and merry way. Those were the horse-and-buggy days where stories only got as far as gossip would take them. Now we are faced with this almost bizarre idea that PERFECTION exists. That PERFECTION can be created in a photo and shared with the world to portray anything we want it to. We can be perfect mothers and perfect wives and perfect workers and, the sick reality is, we all have slapped our own hands when we find ourselves coveting the "lives" of those seemingly perfect images. I don't think that these people and their posts and photos are ill-intentioned. I think they boil down into three categories:

1. You are happy and want to share it with the world. The people who know you, know and appreciate this about you. You're not a bragger in real life, therefore, we know you are not brag-posting.

2. You treat social media like a photo frame. You're not going to put a photo of your kid in a frame when he is screaming his head off with spaghetti hanging off of his chin. I get it. You're selective and putting your best foot forward. In general, your social media matches your "real life" with a smidge of a spit shine.

3. Social media is your way of creating the life you wish you had. You are actively working on creating the perfect family with the perfect children and the perfect house and the perfect life full of lots of perfect things. Your "challenges" are humble brags. Your trials are trivial to 99.999% of the world's population. Your photo caption suggests that you face hardship with name brand clothing, bows in your hair, and a million dollar group hug. The people who know you best, know better. They secretly worry about what you are trying to portrait to the rest of the world.

Can I tell you something? Something real?

PERFECTION IS NOT REAL. Not even a little bit. You can't fake us out with cute pics and an IG story. We love you and we know you and its ok. ITS OK.

We can all look at our friends and know when they are struggling. We can see that look on their faces when parenting is hard. We recognize the body language between two people who are slightly annoyed with each other. We know what you look like when you have had it UP. TO. HERE. We see the bags under your eyes when you need a nap and guess what? Your smaller circle loves you anyway. We want to help...thats our job! Please know that, as your friend, there is nothing I want more than for you to look at me and say, "I could use a little help." Talk to me and know that I am a vault with your frustrations. I will listen to you complain about how your husband refuses to put his dishes in the dishwasher and you're sick of it and annoyed and he's annoying and bugging you. I will listen and then hug you and send you on your way knowing that you are normal and still love him. Tell me that your kids are bugging you...mine are too. Cry about your extra fat roll on your belly while you eat a donut because you have PMS. Tell me how your budget is stressing you out.

And please please please, let us see your imperfections. They make you YOU. Embrace the parts of you and your life that are not picture perfect. The parts that don't look so good on social media. No one is perfect and that is the best club in the world. You can't fool us and we love you anyway.

(Don't worry...this isn't about anyone specific. Just an observation for the real world.)

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