I think its funny to joke about how kids can really and truly drive a person crazy.
Literally, straight jacket, creepy asylum nutso. The kind of mental that you can really only tell your best friend or your sister about...the kind that you really hope no one witnesses. The kind that takes every ounce of restraint not to show in public. We all know how it happens, when it happens, why it happens - each of us gets pulled off the Throne of Good Mothering by our children once in a while. It’s funny to joke about it after the fact and its almost always funny after the fact. Not so funny when your otherwise sweet child smacks you in the head because you wouldn't buy him the truck at Sam's Club and you're 110 months pregnant and too fat to do much of anything about it but probably lay on the couch and wonder how this happened. See...funny now and I can't even believe that lovely public scene really happened to me. I mean, it was a full on 3-year-old blow to the head.
Here is where the miracle comes in. Have you ever, EVER been able to hold a grudge with your kid? I'm not talking instantly here - let's not be ridiculous, but even an hour or two (my kids are little...multiply grudge time for older children. I'm guessing that might be appropriate. How does the saying go? Small kids, small problems, right)?
I can honestly tell you that one of the highlights of my life is seeing my kids faces after they take a nap. Being the mom, I can tell when Quinn is tired (we are so good at that, aren't we?). He will fight me like a bull to not "rest a little" and its frustrating and it makes me nutso. But when I see his face even after an hour with his sweet smile and a few pillow creases, it absolutely melts me.
The miracle of being a parent - and I haven't been at it all that long - is that you can't NOT love your children. You can get mad, crazy, red-faced, NUTSO but it doesn't matter. You don't have a choice. When it comes to your children your heart will always kick some serious tail in a battle with your head. They melt us with a smile. Their little words go straight to our hearts (most of the time). We love how they smell (most of the time). We love their bedhead. We hug them and kiss them because we can't control our hearts when it comes to the crazy cool love we have for these little creatures.
I am definitely in that phase of life where my friends are having babies. Facebook is like the maternity ward and once they leave the real ward you can count on late night status updates during feedings and LOTS of super dooper squishy cuddly smiley and uber-proud pictures. I absolutely love it. Every time I see one of those first pictures I think of that moment when you first see that little face...not the scuzzy, fresh out of the tunnel, oh-my-gawd-what-just-happened-down-there moment. The one where it’s quiet and you can just study that face...the face that will melt you with pillow creases in a year or two. The face that will smile its first smile at you. The face that will frustrate you and make you nutso. I feel so happy for each and every baby-bearing friend that they have just had those soul shaking minutes with their new miracle.
My sister says that having a baby is the experience that connects women on the deepest level. If you've had a child, we are soulmates (dads too). You and I both know what it feels like to love someone to the point of total and ultimate vulnerability. We have given up absolute control of our hearts and know that every day we get to be a part of a little miracle.
Literally, straight jacket, creepy asylum nutso. The kind of mental that you can really only tell your best friend or your sister about...the kind that you really hope no one witnesses. The kind that takes every ounce of restraint not to show in public. We all know how it happens, when it happens, why it happens - each of us gets pulled off the Throne of Good Mothering by our children once in a while. It’s funny to joke about it after the fact and its almost always funny after the fact. Not so funny when your otherwise sweet child smacks you in the head because you wouldn't buy him the truck at Sam's Club and you're 110 months pregnant and too fat to do much of anything about it but probably lay on the couch and wonder how this happened. See...funny now and I can't even believe that lovely public scene really happened to me. I mean, it was a full on 3-year-old blow to the head.
Here is where the miracle comes in. Have you ever, EVER been able to hold a grudge with your kid? I'm not talking instantly here - let's not be ridiculous, but even an hour or two (my kids are little...multiply grudge time for older children. I'm guessing that might be appropriate. How does the saying go? Small kids, small problems, right)?
I can honestly tell you that one of the highlights of my life is seeing my kids faces after they take a nap. Being the mom, I can tell when Quinn is tired (we are so good at that, aren't we?). He will fight me like a bull to not "rest a little" and its frustrating and it makes me nutso. But when I see his face even after an hour with his sweet smile and a few pillow creases, it absolutely melts me.
The miracle of being a parent - and I haven't been at it all that long - is that you can't NOT love your children. You can get mad, crazy, red-faced, NUTSO but it doesn't matter. You don't have a choice. When it comes to your children your heart will always kick some serious tail in a battle with your head. They melt us with a smile. Their little words go straight to our hearts (most of the time). We love how they smell (most of the time). We love their bedhead. We hug them and kiss them because we can't control our hearts when it comes to the crazy cool love we have for these little creatures.
I am definitely in that phase of life where my friends are having babies. Facebook is like the maternity ward and once they leave the real ward you can count on late night status updates during feedings and LOTS of super dooper squishy cuddly smiley and uber-proud pictures. I absolutely love it. Every time I see one of those first pictures I think of that moment when you first see that little face...not the scuzzy, fresh out of the tunnel, oh-my-gawd-what-just-happened-down-there moment. The one where it’s quiet and you can just study that face...the face that will melt you with pillow creases in a year or two. The face that will smile its first smile at you. The face that will frustrate you and make you nutso. I feel so happy for each and every baby-bearing friend that they have just had those soul shaking minutes with their new miracle.
My sister says that having a baby is the experience that connects women on the deepest level. If you've had a child, we are soulmates (dads too). You and I both know what it feels like to love someone to the point of total and ultimate vulnerability. We have given up absolute control of our hearts and know that every day we get to be a part of a little miracle.
Love this... It reminds me of the quote:
ReplyDeleteMaking the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.
Elizabeth Stone
You are lovely with words! I always enjoy reading your frank, passion filled words!
Love to Africa!
Molly