I'll bet that got your attention, huh? Don't worry, there is nothing crazy going on here. In fact, I am not even thinking morbid here. I was talking with my mom the other day about how when your parents die (or hers in this case), suddenly there is no "buffer" between you and the inevitable. This brought up the topic that runs through my head multiple times a day...
YOU ONLY HAVE SO MANY DAYS ON THIS EARTH...YOU BETTER MAKE THE MOST OF THEM.
So today I was sitting at my desk doing my job that is worlds away from helping children in Haiti, and I thought, if I die when I am 90, how many days does that give me? 20857...that's how many days I have left if I live until I'm 90. Then I started wondering if I should count the days I may spend with dementia toward the end of my life (my grandma had it). I decided that even if I don't know where or who I am I may still be making someone happy so I'm going to count them. As always, I digress...
I know this sounds really morbid, but its exactly the opposite. I have 20857 days to do lots of stuff that I really want to do, things I love to do, things I don't even know I love to do yet, but I can't just sit around. The first 12098 days of my life have been incredible but man, have they flown by. Have you seen the show The Buried Life on MTV? Every week they ask, what do you want to do before you die? I don't really have a list of 100 things I want to do before I die because how could you ever really nail that down? When I was 18 I may have answered that question with, "I want to drive to Cedar Rapids and have a Jerry Garcia look-alike tattoo a rainbow-colored peace sign on my abdomen." Lesson learned...I now know that really wasn't an item for my list and will probably use it to fulfill the new item on my list that reads, "lecture children on why getting a tattoo when you are 18 is a bad idea." You see my point here...what you have on your list at 33 you may not want on there when you are 60.
At the same time, if there is something you wanted to do when you were 18 and you still want to do it when you are 33 then what the heck are you waiting for? I will admit that I am a fairly impulsive person, not always a good quality (see lesson "Tattoo" above). When I was 18 - yes, the same year as the tattoo - I got my nose pierced. I called home in the same way I did when I got the tattoo and told my mom...she was hesitant but ok. My dad, who is normally very reasonable and just wants everyone to be happy, said, "Don't come home unless you have taken that thing out." I really think I pulled it out within 5 minutes of hanging up the phone. The dude meant business and I knew it. Now I'm 33 and for all of the years in between then and now I have loved the delicate nostril stud. Now that I'm 33 and I hold the golden ticket (my father's grandchildren) I know he would never let a little metal in my face cause anything more than some razzing. So Wednesday I got my nose pierced because WHAT AM I WAITING FOR? You can't sit around and wait for something important like getting your nose pierced...you only have so many days on this earth. :)
How does all of this tie into Jessie on a Mission??? Quite simple, my friends. When I think back to Jessie NOT on a Mission, there was a lot weighing me down...quite literally. The 15 extra pounds I carried around with me were much heavier than the scale indicated. Insecurity and self-doubt rear their ugly heads when there is extra fat hanging around and that is just not me. With the accomplishment of losing 15 pounds so far and the running - the running more than anything, I feel the layers peeling away. All that is left is the real me with my real feelings and my real thoughts without any reason to doubt them. And what I have found is that I am a happier person all around...a happier wife, a happier mother, a happier daughter, a happier friend.
So, how many days do you have left to LIVE? Really LIVE. Peel back the layers and find out what is there because in the end,
YOU ONLY HAVE SO MANY DAYS ON THIS EARTH. YOU BETTER MAKE THE MOST OF THEM.
YOU ONLY HAVE SO MANY DAYS ON THIS EARTH...YOU BETTER MAKE THE MOST OF THEM.
So today I was sitting at my desk doing my job that is worlds away from helping children in Haiti, and I thought, if I die when I am 90, how many days does that give me? 20857...that's how many days I have left if I live until I'm 90. Then I started wondering if I should count the days I may spend with dementia toward the end of my life (my grandma had it). I decided that even if I don't know where or who I am I may still be making someone happy so I'm going to count them. As always, I digress...
I know this sounds really morbid, but its exactly the opposite. I have 20857 days to do lots of stuff that I really want to do, things I love to do, things I don't even know I love to do yet, but I can't just sit around. The first 12098 days of my life have been incredible but man, have they flown by. Have you seen the show The Buried Life on MTV? Every week they ask, what do you want to do before you die? I don't really have a list of 100 things I want to do before I die because how could you ever really nail that down? When I was 18 I may have answered that question with, "I want to drive to Cedar Rapids and have a Jerry Garcia look-alike tattoo a rainbow-colored peace sign on my abdomen." Lesson learned...I now know that really wasn't an item for my list and will probably use it to fulfill the new item on my list that reads, "lecture children on why getting a tattoo when you are 18 is a bad idea." You see my point here...what you have on your list at 33 you may not want on there when you are 60.
At the same time, if there is something you wanted to do when you were 18 and you still want to do it when you are 33 then what the heck are you waiting for? I will admit that I am a fairly impulsive person, not always a good quality (see lesson "Tattoo" above). When I was 18 - yes, the same year as the tattoo - I got my nose pierced. I called home in the same way I did when I got the tattoo and told my mom...she was hesitant but ok. My dad, who is normally very reasonable and just wants everyone to be happy, said, "Don't come home unless you have taken that thing out." I really think I pulled it out within 5 minutes of hanging up the phone. The dude meant business and I knew it. Now I'm 33 and for all of the years in between then and now I have loved the delicate nostril stud. Now that I'm 33 and I hold the golden ticket (my father's grandchildren) I know he would never let a little metal in my face cause anything more than some razzing. So Wednesday I got my nose pierced because WHAT AM I WAITING FOR? You can't sit around and wait for something important like getting your nose pierced...you only have so many days on this earth. :)
How does all of this tie into Jessie on a Mission??? Quite simple, my friends. When I think back to Jessie NOT on a Mission, there was a lot weighing me down...quite literally. The 15 extra pounds I carried around with me were much heavier than the scale indicated. Insecurity and self-doubt rear their ugly heads when there is extra fat hanging around and that is just not me. With the accomplishment of losing 15 pounds so far and the running - the running more than anything, I feel the layers peeling away. All that is left is the real me with my real feelings and my real thoughts without any reason to doubt them. And what I have found is that I am a happier person all around...a happier wife, a happier mother, a happier daughter, a happier friend.
So, how many days do you have left to LIVE? Really LIVE. Peel back the layers and find out what is there because in the end,
YOU ONLY HAVE SO MANY DAYS ON THIS EARTH. YOU BETTER MAKE THE MOST OF THEM.
Annie Oberlink sent me the link to your blog on new years resolutions and I'm so glad she did!! I only had time to read your two most recent posts...thank you!!! I started living the way that you are speaking of about 2-3 years ago when I was beginning some major transitions in my life. It was the best thing I've ever done for myself and now my days are so much more purposeful, fulfilling, happy, and PRESENT!!! Keep up the writing-- I love it!!
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