Life in Words.

I hate to keep bringing it up, but the last year of my life has been less than desirable. Devastating. Soul-crushing. Tear infused and physically painful. Confusing. Exhausting. Debilitating. But I learned that, unless you are literally dying, your are not actually going to die. Less than desirable, devastating, soul-crushing, tear infused and physically painful, confusing, exhausting, and debilitating will not actually kill you. At times you wish they would, but they don't. That means you only have the option to survive...and God, survival really sucks sometimes. It is ugly and crude and unshowered and baggy-eyed. It is misspoken words and polite, self-preserving lies. It is smiling with a broken heart. And even when you wish Survival would suck the last shallow breath from you, you will find gifts. SMALL GIFTS. At the very lowest point of the last year, I decided to pay attention to the things that were going on around me. There were ten bazillion bad things happening that w

Dear 2017, You were a real asshole and I'm glad you're dead. You chewed me up and spit me out, but incredibly, I came out on top. You tried to break me but I stood up to you. I know you saw the days I cried harder than I have ever cried in my life. You were there for the gossip, rumors, and whispers. You were there when I didn't sleep for weeks. I felt you kick me when I was down...over and over again. But its ok because I know you. You're sneaky and arrogant and insecure and dishonest and two-faced. I recognize you, 2017. What you don't know is that I am a fucking warrior. Not only did I walk out of the fire, but I am also carrying buckets of water for my friends who are enduring the brutal realities of divorce. They are also warriors. Yes, I am glad you're gone, 2017, but I must also thank you. For every time I felt hatred and anger and disgust, I am smart enough to know where to turn when its time to fight back. Maybe you missed the day that my incredib