Skip to main content

There is something scary going on...

I suppose part of me just wanted to get your attention but there is much truth to the title of my "note."

In a matter of days, I have talked to multiple people who have talked about the stress they feel and how unhealthy it is. I have had a discussion with a relatively important co-worker who told me he was ready to cash it all in, buy a bunker in the country and ride his motorcycle as far as he could. I shared the picture on Facebook of a kind looking man who disappeared and whose family is absolutely desperate to find him. I have read over and over on Facebook - and felt myself - how quickly the relaxation and peace of the holiday break has evaporated and we are all back to this crazy hectic life we live every day. I find myself reading blog after blog about how to find peace in my life, how to appreciate myself, how to nurture the relationships I have, how to be everything to everyone while being everything to myself so that everyone around me gets everything from me.

In all honesty, it scares me. How much more can we all take on? Who and what is suffering because of the stress we feel? I don't have an answer. I keep reading things that frustrate me to my core..."Take time to do what you love." "If you are passionate about it, you should be doing it for a living." "If its a priority you will make time. If its not, you will make an excuse." What world do you live in???? There are bills to pay, things to take care of, and a real world to live in. Would my boss understand that the yoga classes around here are at the perfect times for stay-at-home moms so I will need to be "out of the office" from 10:30 - 12 every day because it will make me happy? Should I take the evening to go work out because its a priority or should I spend the evening with my family because it is a bigger priority? And then obviously I should feel guilty making the excuse that I haven't worked out because I am working full-time and spending the evening with my family. Is that right? "Put your phone down and go off the grid." But if I keep my phone with me, I might be able to love every minute of being the mom in the carpool line picking up Quinn from Kindergarten once in a while. Ok, you get my point. This is the dilemma that I think we all juggle every single day. It is the thing that sends us to the blogs looking for the answer. Again I will say...I definitely don't have the answer. I feel it just like you.

I am trying really hard to remember that total calm and peace I felt over the holiday break. I am trying to channel it for my beautiful kids and my kind, sweet husband...they deserve it. I am trying to take inspiration from the blogs I read. If I think of one sentiment over the course of a week then it was worth it. I am trying to be kind to my friends and family, appreciate them, love them, do what I can for them. I am trying to be patient with my kids, which doesn't always work, but my stress is not their fault. I am trying to just be happy. I am trying to not be hard on myself. I am trying to love love love those who have invested love in me. I am trying to channel the feeling I get from yoga even if I can't get to a real class. I am trying to be a great employee. I am trying to just be happy. I am trying to be really happy. Really, really happy. Life is so good.

I am trying to write it down so I can read it over and over.

The other night I thought about "cleaning house" on Facebook. As I looked through my friends, I realized that there is something that I like about each and every one of you and I will not "clean house." You make my life richer. I knew you at one time or another and I appreciate our friendship even if it is as simple as Facebook.

I hope for all of you that during 2012 you find happiness, calm, quiet, excitement, love, and whatever it is you need the most. Let's appreciate eachother, be really really interesting, and use eachother when we need.

Here's to 2012.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

I'm a wis(er) old lady.

I was in the car today listening to Classic FM, all classical, all the time baby. It rocks and I have Jake hooked too. We're old people. I even listen to the Breakfast Quiz in the morning and contemplate calling in when I know the answer. If I did call in I would have to give a fake name because I would be too embarrassed to say my real name. Jenna? Jamie? Jackie? Anyway, I love classical music AND the totally nerdy hosts on the station. Over the last year or so I have started to notice that I feel more comfortable in my own skin. Its not all the time and I'm not floating on a cloud of self-love, I just noticed that I feel more comfortable. I do more things that I like just because I like them, not because I think I should like them. My friends seem happier too. My conclusion is this: WE'VE CUT THE BULLSHIT (except for giving a fake name on the breakfast quiz radio call-in). There was a lot of it in my 20's - A LOT - and even more before that. Embarrassing really but...

"Life is so hard, ma'am. Life is so hard."

I lost it this morning. I seriously lost it. I lost it so badly that I posted this to Facebook: You know what gets me all fired up? The way so many white people treat black people here. I brought Miss to the eye doctor because she can't see. The optometrist is treating her like she's an idiot. Over my dead body will we be buying glasses here. I am absolutely FUMING right now!!!!! They are words that I mean and words that were not well thought out, words that were fueled by absolutely shock and frustration and more shock. Words and frustration that felt the same as if someone had insulted one of my children. I had a reaction that got my blood boiling so hard and fast that I consciously had to keep myself in my chair and say, “Jessie…don’t say anything stupid.” I thought of my grandma Doerfler…I know what she would have done. She would have told that woman WHERE.TO.GO. As tempted as I was, I didn’t. I made Miss an appointment to see the eye doctor because the poor woman can...

Life is Not Perfect. Please Tell Your Story.

As I grow up, I can see a desperation amongst my peers for sincerity and authenticity. Thanks to maturity we grow our circles in quality and are far more selective in quantity. There are a million different quotes about this, and Pinterest is bleeding with inspiration about the quality of our friendships. I am at a point in my life where, if you can't be real with me, I'm out. Is that harsh? Maybe. Its only harsh when you say it out loud because the majority of us, in my opinion, are operating at that frequency whether we speak it or not. But then there are those who are not operating at that frequency. I promise not to tell who just popped into your heads. [wink] You know some, I know some, and just open any social media app if you're wondering. The Perfects were always a family out there but now social media has given them a platform to slather their inflated happiness all over us. I remember a story from my high school days where Parent Perfect was expounding on the d...